On etiquette...

[original post: Oct.07.2006]

Have I regressed to a point where I don't like people.. at all?

I guess not, I just don't like people that piss me off.

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I was at Mishka's today, enjoying a white mocha like usual. Yet instead of being relaxed and pensive, I was agitated and uncomfortable. Why, you may ask? Let me count the ways:

-Instead of playing some kind of low-key, harmonious music, they were playing some bizarre folk/traditional jig that sounded like a mix of a few too many countries. It was loud and unrelenting.

-Next, this clueless guy answered his cell phone in the coffee shop. Okay, the answering of the phone was not what pissed me off, it's that his voice was absurdly LOUD. I heard him word for word through my iPod headphones, and so did everybody in that half of the room, who looked up several times in annoyance. I'm basically against answering cell phones indoors in certain places to begin with, but I generally don't care if you keep your voice to a low volume. This guy was essentially the tour guide from The Jungle Cruise.

He was a little weird though. He was drumming his hands on the table top (to no music), while bobbing his head and mouthing certain lines of music (in his head). So yeah, that cell conversation went on for 10 minutes. Take it outside, motherfucker.

-The final straw was this fairly young couple who came in with a stroller. The stroller already agitated me because I think they're one of the most annoying inventions. They get in the way of everything. But whatever, I was a baby once, so I'll let it slide. What pissed me off was that the couple decided to make out while groping each other. They weren't making out in a corner or even sitting down, they were making out up at the counter in front of everyone. What the hell is this? This is not a drive-in movie theater... nobody wants to see that.

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I swear I'm not becoming Oscar The Grouch, I just believe that people need to behave appropriately in public places. There is a loose script for whatever public place you happen to occupy. Follow it and don't be a douchebag.

For example, if you're in a coffee shop: sit, eat, drink, read, talk, study, write, etc. Generally do things that are discreet because that is the nature of the environment that you're in. If you're at a punk rock concert: stage-dive, mosh, yell, sweat, make hand-gestures, and generally be a punk. If you're at the festival of San Fermín: drop your cell phone and run your ass off.

That's my wish for humanity, that we'd all be a little more conscious of the places we occupy, and those around us.