Shazam.

I WILL BE IN HAWAII FROM JUN. 16 TO JUN 22. I SPOKE, GOD LISTENED.

Jetsetter Jerry

Wow I slept well last night. Considering that for the last 48 hours I was either attempting to sleep on a couch, airplane, or not at all... I am refreshed.

I went down to SoCal for the third and final time (for a while) to attend my stepmom's nephew's wedding. I don't know the man very well, but my stepmom wanted the whole family to go, so my dad flew me down the morning of the wedding.

GAH, I wish that I had a camera, because this weekend was so visual that pictures would really do the best justice... I'll try to give a comparable account through words.

-----

From zero sleep the night before/during the flight, I was very much a zombie when I arrived in Orange County. Sidebar: what has the world come to when I don't even get peanuts anymore on a Southwest flight? When I got off the plane, I'd been awake for 22 hours and was beginning to lose some of my higher cognitive functions. The two hour drive to Temecula (where the ceremony took place) provided an impromptu nap.

Once we arrived at the house where the ceremony was being held, I was quickly ushered into a long line and given a silver platter of mangoes. Part of the ceremony is for every guest to follow the bride and groom in a long line, pairing off with matching platters of fruit, so that in the beginning of the line there are two people with apple platters, two bananas, two papayas, etc. Imagine Noah's Ark, but with fruit. At the end of the walk, the bride and groom are presented with literally a mountain of food, not to mention a fully-grown, roast pig on a spit. Blessings were given by the monks, and I think that was the end of that segment...

A two hour drive back to Long Beach is what came next, followed by a blissful afternoon nap. Then came the banquet...

Held in a large Cambodian restaurant, it featured a 9-course meal (including, and you can't make this stuff up, a shrimp that was nine inches long... one shrimp), traditional Cambodian dancing (which I partook in), a bottle of Hennessey cognac at each table, and drinking games all around me, involving the groom on occasion.

The highlight of the night came when I got to meet a Cambodian tranny, which was nice since all of the other times that I've met trannies have been in clubs or bars. It was good to finally meet one in a different setting.

Twelve hours later, I was back in the air.

I need a vacation. A real one.

Hold please

You know you start to reach the brink of insanity when you actually begin to enjoy the hold muzak.

My life right now consists of me calling lots of people, leaving voicemails (which are never returned), or holding for obscene amounts of time (the record just now was 21 minutes).

I kinda liked the music though... they had some crazy swing and big band... if it didn't sound like it was broadcast over a 28.8 modem, I might've asked to stay on hold.

So regarding my job.. I'm now currently spending about 20% of my time investigating the past, and the remaining 80% looking toward the future and prepping for that. It's a good combo, I think.

-----

I woke up this morning with the word FRENCH tattooed all over my pillow case. I have no idea why bar stamps have to contain ink that behaves as if it was from the planet Krypton. One of my sciency friends needs to address this. Cory, I nominate you.

Random pic

In the spirit of randomness, here's a picture of me from the weekend. Amazingly I don't look like a gargoyle. Anton snapped it in his hallway.

That's all I really had to say.

More Random Questions...

Damn you, Casey...


..

What's the first thing you do when waking up in the morning?	usually I put on clothes
Do you prefer a shower or bath?	shower
How many times a day do you brush your teeth?	twice
What kind of cell phone do you have?	LG... from the paleolithic era
What would you do with a 10 bill you found on the ground?	probably get coffee
Have you said "I love you" today?	not yet
What's one thing you actually remember about kindergarten?	trying to learn how to tie my shoes, it was difficult at the time.
Did you cry at your graduation or smile because you were glad it was over?	smile, but not because it's over
Are you closer with your mom or dad?	I'm close to both in different ways
Do you prefer the tanning bed or the sun?	the sun
Is chocolate really better than sex?	hardly :)
What's 2 of your favorite movies?	Waking Life, Contact
What's the last thing you think about before going to sleep at night?	generally something happy
How many rumors have you heard about yourself?	not many
Does your life seem to revolve around drama?	I would hope not
What's a nickname you go by?	Jer, Jerry
How do you calm down when you're extremely angry?	I listen to music
What are 3 places you want to see in the world?	The Amazon, Africa, Italy
A movie or a long walk in the park on the first date?	a movie, then a long walk!
What are 3 of the first things you notice about the opposite sex?	whoa.. it's a girl, then hair, then ethnicity
Where do you see yourself in 5 years?	probably in school, again
Do long distance relationships actually work out?	from my observations, they usually don't
What are 2 of your favorite places to eat?	in Davis: Thai Bistro, Fuzio (for the salads)
Do you currently have a job?	it's currently 3:30 p.m., you tell me.
Which would you prefer...be rich and miserable, or poor and extremely happy?	poor and extremely happy, any day.
What's one of your favorite TV shows?	Seinfeld
What did you want to be when you "grow up"?	way back when... an astronaut!
Would you ever date someone covered in tats and piercings?	I wouldn't not date them because of it
Do you believe the first kiss tells you everything you need to know about the relationship?	not necessarily, but it is very telling
Where do your hands go when kissing someone?	their back/neck
Do you know who lives in a pineapple under the sea?	SpongeBob SquarePants!
Would you want a house at the beach or in the mountains?	decisions, decisions! probably the beach
Which would you rather have...a huge walk in shower or a jacuzzi bath tub big enough for 2?	gots to go with the jacuzzi
Do you look up or at your feet when you walk?	up
What do you think about people that are extremely skinny and actually likes the way they look?	um, i'm one of them.
What's your favorite ice cream?	chocolate chip cookie dough
Do you like Starbucks...or are they just overpriced?	I like them solely because they're very convenient
Are you a prep or a jeans-and-t-shirt type of person?	kind of neither
What color are your eyes?	brown
Do you have glasses or contacts?	glasses
Is it love at first sight or lust?	lust
Which do you want...a big extravagant wedding or a quiet intimate ceremony?	I'm not much of a prima donna
What's the most expensive thing you own?	my car
What's the most you've ever spent on a pair of jeans?	$80, and they were hottt
What color are your bedroom walls?	three white, one blue
Do you ever actually make your bed?	rarely
How many pillows do you have to sleep with?	two
Do you prefer to sleep alone or with someone?	if I actually want sleep, then alone :)
What is one of your pet peeves?	ego-trips
What could you tolerate... someone who snores or a sleep walker?	the sleep walker
What's the craziest thing you've ever done?	flew to Japan, stayed for 36 hrs, got lost in Yokohama, and eventually found my way back to Taiwan.
Would you rather sky dive or bungee jump?	sky dive
Ever been outside of the US?	many times
Ever think Texas should just be part of Mexico?	not really
Do you have to have some kind of noise to fall asleep?	silence is golden
What's your zodiac sign?	capricorn
Who is your celebrity heart-throb?	Ian Somerhalder
Would you have survived 100 years ago?	decadently
What do you think the world will be like in 30 years?	more media, all the time
Do you have to be the center of attention?	nope
Do you save your money or spend it when you get your hands on it?	both in moderation
Are you a party animal or someone who prefers to stay in?	depends on the night!
Did you get a new year's kiss?	I have yet to get that...
Are you a happy person?	yes
If money was no option...what type car would you own?	prob an Aston Martin, haha
Do you think you could actually survive the cost of living in California or New York?	I've been doing it...
How many concerts have you been to?	not many, like 4?
What are 3 set radio stations in your vehicle right now?	NPR, and that's pretty much it
Have you ever flat ironed your hair?	no, but I won't rule it out
What's the most you've ever payed for shampoo and conditioner?	$7
Was it actually worth it?	damn straight
Ever been told your a flirt?	no
What have you done that you are proud of?	finished my degree
Do you go to church every Sunday?	no
Do you have a hidden talent?	I'm fairly good at painting/drawing, most people don't expect that.
What do you normally eat for breakfast?	bagel, cream cheese, OJ
Ever been called a tease?	no
Do you like to cuddle?	LOVE IT.
Do you like the heat or cold weather?	cold weather
What was your favorite cartoon as a kid?	Batman, the animated series
Have you ever seen a ghost?	nope
What's the best movie you've seen recently?	Pan's Labyrinth was unexpectedly good
Do you prefer scary movies or comedies?	comedies
Ever had a huge crush on someone and never tell them?	hasn't everyone?
Do you have a favorite shirt or pair of jeans you wear over and over?	I wear most of my shirts pretty evenly... but I have one pair of jeans that I wear a lot
Will you move away from your hometown any time soon?	already did
How many texts do you send on average a month?	probably around 100
What's your favorite name for a girl and boy?	not sure for a girl, but for a boy, I've always been fond of Charlie... outdated but so cute!
Have you ever actually snuck out of your house?	yes
How many things have you done that your parents don't know about?	plenty
Ever been taken to jail?	no
Have you ever had a pen pal?	yes
What are you about to do now that this survey is over?	I have a strange craving for popcorn...

Laguna Beach

I'm in the LB, yo!

And by LB, I don't mean Long Beach.. my other home. Right now, I'm in Laguna Beach - the pennacle of Southern California iconography. Sort of.

I'm still adjusting to this place... my mom's condo is basically in Geriatric City. I'll give you a breakdown of the Laguna Beach demographic:

91% - Golden eagles over the age of 60
9% - 17-year-old emo boys

Here's a breakdown of the street names in our area:

Aliso Creek Valley Road
Brookline Creek Boulevard
Pacific Coast Valley Road
Lake Forest Drive
Laguna Hills Drive
Los Alisos Blvd.
Crest Ridge Parkway
Jasmine Creek Lane

Well, 5 of those are actual streets :)

The streets are long and windy, mini-malls are everywhere, the gas tank in whatever car I'm driving is always near "E"... ahhhh, SoCal.

I'll be back in Davis tomorrow by 5 or so... for another week, until I fly back here for the Cambodian wedding. Sheesh...

<3

Grindhouse

The following is a review of the film Grindhouse.

--

Grindhouse

It probably wasn't the best day for me to watch a Tarantino/Rodriguez film in retrospect. I was breaking into a full sinus infection, and I thought that over three hours in a movie theater would calm my immune system. I was still plenty uncomfortable for the duration of the film, but I didn't care. Grindhouse was pure, unadulterated fun.

Grindhouse is a double feature, the first film, Planet Terror, was directed by Robert Rodriguez, while the second, Death Proof, was directed by Quentin Tarantino. Both features combined run 191 minutes, which, even to the seasoned movie-goer, is a long time to spend in a theater. Don't go if you have a sinus infection.

This is absolutely a film to be seen in a theater, complete with a giant silver screen, and surround sound. And those snazzy home theaters won't cut it either. Grindhouse demands to be experienced in a dingy, run-down theater, complete with sticky floors, stale popcorn, and shady management. I saw it at the G Street theater... pretty close.

Both features tap into the expoitation genre of film that thrived during the 1970s. Blood, guts, flying racial stereotypes, rampant sex appeal, and bondage drip down the walls of the theater. In addition, Rodriguez and Tarantino weave fake movie previews inbetween features, complete with pulpy hype, plenty of dripping and splashing blood, and an earful of screams straight out of The Creature From the Black Lagoon. They're campy, hokey, and spectacular. I especially liked the preview for Machete with the ending tagline "They fucked with the wrong Mexican!" There are also cleverly placed "missing reels" of film, usually strategically placed to focus on the film's exploitation lore.

I think it makes more sense to review each feature separately, as they actuallly work better as two films (and are released separately in countries other than the U.S.).

Planet Terror (2 stars)

Just when you thought Robert Rodriguez had reached his ceiling with the grotesque and violent unthinkable, he affixed a sawed-off carbine assault rifle to the amputated stump where Cherry Darling's leg had once been in Planet Terror. That was mostly the highlight of the film.

We find ourselves in a rural town in Texas as a slow but deadly realization drifts through the town. A rogue paramilitary group has botched an experiment involving a poisonous gas, capable of mutating its host into a zombie! Write your congressman.

As strange accidents occur throughout the town, and Dr. William Block's (Josh Brolin) ER wing reaches its capacity, it becomes painfully obvious that it will be up to simultaneous drifters and once-lovers, El Wray (Freddy Rodriguez) and Cherry Darling (Rose McGowan) to save the day and blow the heads off of some preeeetty hideous creatures.

They join forces with the likes of restauranteur J.T. Hague (Jeff Fahey), and Dr. Dakota Block (Marley Shelton). Dakota is running from her deranged doctor husband, the other Doctor Block, who makes Dr. Josef Mengele look like Steve from Blues Clues. J.T. basically just wants to save the bar-be-que. Dakota has several scenes extremely reminiscent of The Bride in the Kill Bill films, involving her struggle to obtain a goal with a temporary disability. Marley Shelton even looks like Uma Thurman!

I must say that I was impressed with the level of 'mutant grossness' in Planet Terror. I mean, these zombies were gross. Beyond gross. It's the kind of disgust that is hugely comical and brought a new respect for cinematic makeup. My popcorn eating slowed a tad during those scenes.

And congratulations to the set designers for making the small Texas town so dirty. The restaurant was dirty, the hospital was filthy, and even the brief sex scene was tolerable at best.

Rose McGowan as Cherry Darling steals the screen with her witty and often comical dialogue. She trades barbs with the slow-witted but tough El Wray. However, most of the dialogue in the film is slow and drawn-out, as if Rodriguez ran out of content to fill the 90 mintues. You can almost tell that the actors don't really like what they're saying. Rodriguez is more of a visual director, and he succeeds on that front.

In the last half hour, we encounter the paramilitaries, led by Lieutenant Muldoon (Bruce Willis) and aided by bio-chemist Abby (Naveen Andrews), and zombies are shot, people explode, and yadda yadda, credits roll.

I haven't been much of a zombie film fan in the past. This one doesn't offer much more. Aside from the visual arts direction, the characters are flat and trite, the conversation limps along, and in the end we're left with what we've been expecting all along... I won't spoil it for you, but just imagine any zombie film you've ever seen, and you can fill in the blanks like a mad libs game.

-----

Death Proof (3.5 stars)

I loved Death Proof. I can tell because this was when my illness really started to kick in, and yet, I lauged and gasped just as loud.

Set in another small Texas town (but this time during the day), and also in Tennessee, the film follows two groups of friends who both have an encounter with an either shyly genuine or disturbingly creepy ex-stuntman, who inhabits the local dive bars and is known as Stuntman Mike (Kurt Russell). Suffice it to say that something very horrific happens to the first group of girls after he gains their trust.

By the time the second group of girls comes around, we're not sure of what to expect. The atmosphere is relaxed as they reminisce about who's had sex with who, and share a meal at a diner while discussing the trivialities of their lives. Tarantino skillfully works to regain the audience's trust after the horror of the first segment and he begins to succeed. This group is on location working on the production crew of a movie that is being filmed in Tennessee. Zoe (Zoe Bell) and Kim (Tracie Thoms) are stuntwomen, while Abernathy (Rosario Dawson) and Lee (Mary Elizabeth Winstead) have unknown jobs with the company.

Tarantino's dialogue is back in full force, as he doesn't try to hide his love affair with language. He is in love with every line and it shows. The characters share exchanges that have a genuineness and reality that remind us of Vincent and Mia in Pulp Fiction, and Beatrix and Bill in Kill Bill. It's not quite as sophisticated, but it comes close.

Zoe is originally from New Zealand (Not Australia!) and makes it known that she intends to test-drive a 1970 Dodge Challenger as it is undeniably her favorite car, featured in her favorite movie Vanishing Point. It's always been a dream of her's to drive that car, and it just so happens that there is a 1970 Dodge Challenger for sale in town. They meet the owner, sweet-talk him a little, leave Lee as collateral, and take off in the car. Zoe convinces Kim to let her try one hell of a daredevil stunt and the three girls ride into the sunset in pure ecstasy. Little do they know that Stuntman Mike is just around the corner.

This is the part where the film took off. An epic car chase ensues that was so visceral, and so real, that I could feel the 440 cc V8 engine. Tarantino wisely leaves out CGI for a car chase that is as authentic as they come. You are right there in the mix of it, hanging on for dear life, as an insane stuntman plays Russian roulette with your life. Tarantino also toys with an interesting premise here, that being stuntmen (which encompasses women, I suppose 'stuntpeople' would be more PC) duking it out for real outside of a film. Yet in reality, they're stuntmen playing stuntmen who are having a real fight. With me?

The casting here is great, with Tracie Thoms as the testosterone-souped stuntwoman itching for a thrill, Zoe Bell as the portrait of youth and vigor, Rosario Dawson as the more cautious yet equally badass member of the group, and Kurt Russell as a truly menacing antagonist. The characters are well-written and believable at every turn.

There's a scene where the tables turn and the audience goes with it in full force, and from that point on, the adrenaline rises exponentially.

And in the end, Tarantino remains what he always has been, a brilliant storyteller. He manages to bring you into the story to a point where you care of nothing else. The audience exists in his world. When I left the theater, did I rev the engine of my 1989 Acura Legend? You can sure bet I did.